There is an hilarious advertisement in the opening pages of this month’s ‘The Monthly‘ for a new apartment in Melbourne going by the name of ‘401 St Kilda Road’. The official website offers no actual information on the building (this real estate page offers a few renders) however the architects, Elenberg Fraser, have an excellent portfolio so my concerns lie with the marketing rather than the architecture itself.

And boy what marketing. And I am not sure that I have ever seen such absurd stuff.

“Chef’s Kitchen” In the old days, this would have been called a “Kitchen”. Somehow, by enclosing the kitchen in a room, it has become a chef’s kitchen. As though breaking the the trend of open plan kitchens in dining rooms is in itself deserving of the hiring of culinary staff. Why not go the whole way and call the third bedroom, the Maid’s Room?

“The Great Room” Great! A room! What exactly makes an open living and dining space into a Great Room? A column placed in the middle? It certainly would make my mayday frolic less outdoorsey.

“Worth every million…” Really? Well, I would hope that what I am buying is worth the money I pay for it… But worth every million? Not just two out of three of them? Gosh, that is value isn’t it? (A quick trip to the website reveals that ‘every million’ starts at 2.7 and goes to 7 +. The plan shown above being for a $3mil apartment.)

The sad thing is that a line of suckers aspiring to a life of endless martinis, duck pancakes and Ring-A-Ring-Rosie parties will buy into this garbage.