I am sure that our International Guests are already aware of the holy union of those two scrubbers, Bec and Lleyton last week. They may not be aware of the epic poem that Bec wrote for her new hubby.

It is too easy to take pot shots from the sideline though, and so I would like to issue a challenge to gravestmor’s readers:

THAT’S RIGHT, A POETRY COMPETITION!

The rules are these:

Rule 01 - All poems must rhyme. So no haiku, wankers.
Rule 02 - All poems must be about architecture in some way.

If you think that is too hard, here are some rhymes to get you started:

Hot Glue Gun / Mansilla and Tunon
T-Square / Le Corbusier
Limber / Timber

Email entries to me, or leave them in the comments section below. I will publish the best early next week sometime and if there are no entries then expect to never hear of this ever again…

Last Thursday night went smashingly thankyou very much - the carpark at Tusculum was packed with a little over two hundred people and the ten presenters each showed some wonderful images.

There are a bunch more photos over at my flickr page and stay tuned for more DARCH events as they are dreamt up.

This article on an architect/builder Mike Calvino in Florida is jam packed full of quotable quotes; covering most of the ground between hanging (as if floating in mid air!) kitchen joinery units to how you can save money by spending twice as much as your client wanted by using student labour.

However my favourite is this little pearl where a bandana-ed Mr Calvino comes over as Owen Wilson with a clutch pencil:

“Architect Michael Calvino cuts galvanized steel pipes to size for a guard rail on a balcony. Behind him are planks of eucalyptus, which he cut by hand from a fallen tree.”

Phwoaar! You GO Mike.
Now all that is needed is for Ben Stiller to drop by and set the whole thing on fire…

This is a short reminder to all that our DARCH 10×10x10 slidenight is on this Thursday night at Tusculum. All the details are still here.

The ten showing slides are:

• Brett Boardman - Lapsed architect, practicing photographer guru
• Mark Dytham - Tokyo based wunderkind, coming to you via satelite/whatever
• Madeleine Hetherton - Architect now filmaker
• Tim Horton - Architect/provocatuer
• Eoghan Lewis - Likes to mine, elevate the everyday I am told
• Genevieve Lilley - Ex- Chipperfield, now jeweller
• Jesse McNicol - Architect and planner/Parramatta Rd, Sydney Olympic Park Rescue Mission.
• Antonia Pesenti - Ex Jean Nouvel’s office, now based in Sydney
• Adam Russell - Architect
• Sophie Seck - Architect and RAIA

As I said before, you should all come along. Even if you are in New Orleans. You can still get a flight. Its not that far.

I have always been pretty wary of the hype surrounding Berrima. It has been the darling of the arts press for some time due to its fostering of contemporary art and architecture and it would be an understatement to say that I was just a little bit cynical. What do I care if Sting opened the Berrima Kursaal? I mean really, Sting? Give me a break.

The rot set in in Berrima when the Southern Highlands began attracting the rock star artists of the early eighties and it became Australia’s vanguard of contemporary art. The knowing architects followed and before you know it, Sting is there, standing in front of a Damien Hirst preserved cow slice, in a Driz-a-Bone, eating a scone. You can understand my apprehension.

But I spent some time there over the weekend, and I am prepared to take everything back. Berrima has really reached maturity - gone are the galvanised steel blade wall hairdressing salons; in their place a series of quite, considered buildings that are more concerned with with surface and new structural technologies than giant aquariums in nightclubs.

I guess I have to admit that the change probably did begin with the Berrima Kursaal, nicknamed the “Flying Fig” by locals due to its pink, alien interior. It gave the Berrima Collective (BC) an appropriate space to stage their performance weaving and it introduced a new construction methodology into the Australian workforce.

Then of course, there is the understandable hype surrounding Ito’s new Tods store currently under construction. While it is obviously a progression of the Tokyo flagship model it is nonetheless good to see some cutting edge gear going on in the Southern Highlands. Similarly, FOA’s winning scheme for Berrima Town Hall looks like it will generate some excitement with its jaw-to-the-floor luminescant facade. Whether or not the project goes ahead is another story entirely…

As Antoinette will attest, I have been more than a little preoccupied with Google Earth lately. This is because I think it is RAD.

If you too like the Google Earth, you may like to download these two files - just click on the link and open them with Google Earth:

• The first I call ‘Architecture‘ and it has a bunch of buildings in it.
• The second I call ‘How Cool Is Mankind‘ which is where I offer proof of man’s kickass domination over nature.

It is my intention to update this file relatively regularly as I add new fantastic places to my quiver. Likewise if you, dear readers, have your own places saved up (or want to correct or add more info to the stuff already there), add them to the folders, send them back to me and I will repost them.

This anonymous plea for help arrived in my inbox the other day:

Dear Marcus

I hate patch fittings.
I hate them so much.
Is there anything Gravestmor can do about this?

Yours sincerely

Matthew Bennett Anonymous

Gravestmor shares your disgust for those shiny stainless steel glass clasps and in particular the fucking spider variety. Damn I can’t stand those spider fittings.

Here is a bit of advice if you are thinking of putting in a giant glass wall in your building:

IF YOU CANNOT AFFORD A BIG ENOUGH BIT OF GLASS - OR - IF YOUR ENGINEERS ARE TOO CRAP :

THEN

DO NOT DESIGN A GIANT GLASS WALL.

It is as simple as that. Giant glass walls, while although potentially very clear, do not stand up on their own, they need support and unless you are Harry Seidler and can order in a whole lot of 10.8m high bits of glass then just give it a rest.

So to answer our reader’s query:

“is there anything Gravestmor can do about this?”

Of course there is. There always is, but I will not pretend that it is going to be easy - getting rid of all the patch fittings will certainly take a long time and will require a great deal of commitment on the behalf of all involved - the frameless shower screens alone will employ the world’s supply of unemployed German architecture graduates for at least seven months. That said, people are passionate about this gear, I was on the phone to Alberto Campo Baeza only last thursday and he sounded like he was about to explode with rage over the whole issue.

Unbridled rage will not get us anywhere though; we need a gameplan to tackle this beast and so I propose a four pronged attack; one prong per Ridiculous Stainless Steel Stud Thing.

First Prong
Raise the public’s awareness. Bob Geldof has been contacted. He is talking to Bono. The wheels are in motion. So rest easy, this prong is under control.

Second Prong
Deployment of the Pompilidae Fitting - natural predator of the Spider Fitting. The Pompilidae Fitting plants its larvae into the spider fitting which later hatches and eats it from the inside out. Nasty but necessary.

Penultimate Prong
This is where the Masses of Unemployed German Architecture Graduates come in. They will spiral out from Germany in an anti-clockwise fashion, removing rectangular patch fittings from glass shower screens without prejudice. Within a month, most of Europe will safe and within seven we should be all clear.

Fourth Prong
Melt all salvaged patch fittings down to make one colossal patch fitting sculpture to be placed at an undisclosed - for safety reasons - location. This will serve as a constant reminder of mankind’s deviation from sensible glass fixing methods at the turn of the century.

Aftermath
Accept awards/garlands for ridding the world of such a heinous tectonic.

Does it suprise anyone that the building meant to symbolise to the world the USA’s love of freedom and democracy is now a mediocre commercial building sitting atop a 40m high impenetrable base. With reeeeeallllllly tiny little doors!

We all know that architecure is a pretty slow so it should be no suprise that the music meme has only just hit the architecture blogs… John from Archidose issued the call and who am I to say no?

So:

Total volume of music on my computer:
15 GB

Last album bought:
Blueberry Boat - Fiery Furnaces

Song playing right now:
Go or Go Ahead - Rufus Wainwright

Five songs I listen to a lot lately:
Nature Boy - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Rock. And they didn’t play it when we went to see them at Luna Park in May…

Take you on a cruise - Interpol

Mars Attacks - Aesop Rock
Mars Wins!

Papa was a rodeo - The Magnetic Fields
Country and Western splendour from the king of eclectic pop music - Stephen Merritt.

Rhythm Section Want Ad - They Might Be Giants
“Laugh hard its a long way to the bank” always seemed especially appropriate for the architectural profession.

You are next:
Transfer
The Art Llife
Miss Representation

In a display of Christo-like bravura, Christoph Steinbrener and Rainer Dempf have ‘deleted’ all text from a busy Vienna Street. All signs, logos, advertisements were covered up for two weeks in yellow plastic.

And a mockup of the same gear going down in New York City: